Over ons alter egos
State of the art puns
Darryl Karamat Ali
Founder, Sales Super human ability to stay warm even when the office radiator won’t work and employees are frozen solid. Can warm up the client before he ultimately closes the deal with a cold hard signature.
Experience 25 years knowledge of warming up clientele with or without a shirt
- Flexibilitity towards customers 98%
- Flexibility in buying us new servers 4%
- Knowledge on good food 70%
Manager Operations Former McAfee Special Ops Director. Will tell you what is wrong with your organisation but at the same time skillfully avoid hurting people’s feelings doing so. Will kill for cheese
Experience Cutting through the crap bureaucracy and politics for nearly 3 decades
- Problem solving capacity 85%
- Grammar nazi 70%
- Manly stories 50%
Senior Consultant Proficiently skilled in Functional countering. Redirecting complaints and unleashes an devastating intelligently formed attack back without opening his eyes. That could be misconstrued as racist.
Experience Operating since the 14th century Tja Dynasty with 600 years of wisdom
- Competence on dealing with incompetence 80%
- Love for Minecraft 30%
- Love for Coffee 50%
Senior IAM Consultant In the beginning of 2017, Danny had vanished. In his absence, an sinister DISORDER has befallen IT projects causing chaos in the IAMniverse. Then, in July 2017, as foretold in the ancient prophecy; Danny reappeared, destined to bring back structure and balance to the IAM.
Experience He is the Azuriam you’re looking for. “Ignorance is the path to incompetence. Incompetence leads to frustration; frustration leads to a waste of time; waste of time leads to buffering. I sense much ignorance in you”.
- IAM prophecy and balance 87%
- Connoisseur of old movies and Italian cuisine 58%
- Being a hermit on an uninhabited Island 96%
Senior IAM Consultant When Leon Kuunders makes a comment on IdM, laws are rewritten that day. He’s a walking reference library on pure unadulterated IAM while saving orphan babies from burning buildings.
Experience He’s the definition of experience. Twice.
- IAM vision and realisation 80%
- Hypnotic preaching 30%
- Danny Alvares Annoyer 60%
Senior IAM Consultant Specialist in finding the best place to strike a deal. Knows where to get the information we need and the gadgets to keep us happy. And in Bosnia-Herzegovia, Identity manages YOU.
Experience 17 years of soul breaking consultancy towards his opponents
- IAM vision and production 85%
- “Yes it’s possible…but” 40%
- ICT Santa Claus 88%
Developer Excels in staying cool and collected when his opponents raise complaints. He then calmly proceeds to explain their own inadequacies by structurally pointing out their mistakes, with love.
Experience 8 years of dealing with crisis and developing good products with his cool mellow aura of coding wisdom
- Development & Deployment 70%
- Problem reducing Aura 35%
- Provider of friday afternoon croissants 50%
Lead Developer With Godlike developing skills he can create anything at any time using inferior tools. He’s a professional. And real professionals don’t concern themselves with inefficient things like food. They eat Snelle Jelle
Experience How do you quantify the experience of a man who can diffuse a nuclear bomb with just notepad? You don’t.
- .NET knowledge & development 90%
- Intimidation & intensity factor 99%
- Willingness to try new products 2%
Developer He will take a look at your data security and determine it to be an insult, to life. You can either do it his way, or the wrong way and cry yourself to sleep every night wishing you had listened to him.
Experience With this much stoicism and manliness you don’t acquire experience anymore. You experience HIM.
- Development & Code efficiency 85%
- Tolerance for meetings 12%
- Manliness 95%
UI/UX Designer Turning technical solutions into something useful and pretty that even 12 year olds can understand it. Because when you look at pretty, you are pretty. And. You. Look. STUNNING. Today, internet stranger.
Experience 8 years of making things look cool and sexy, just like you. You totally do.
- Design & UX 50%
- Power to Photoshop people in weird stuff 80%
- Exercising that power 40%
Developer Andy doesn’t just code, he flirts with it. He doesn’ consult on IdM, he seduces. Whenever there’s something broken, Andy will be send onsite to fix your problems with whatever means necessary.
Experience 4 years of exploding power supplies and restarting servers only made him stronger.
- Software engineering 55%
- Rebooting servers until they work 90%
- Superfast growing of hair on his head 25%
Wilma te Roller
Backoffice Manager A force to be reckoned with and a terrifying presence. Wilmauel 25:17 “I will strike down upon thee with timetracker and furious meeting notes those who would attempt to ignore me”
Experience 25 years of getting things done using food or through the lethal back handed slap.
- HR & Administratie 75%
- Jam dealer extraordinaire 30%
- Manipulation of colleagues using smiles 40%
Application adminstrator / Test coordinator Whenever you’re in need, Dennis is your man. Need to fix global warming? Dennis is your man. Need help chucking a ring into a volcano? Dennis is your man.
Experience There are three types of people in this world: those who Dennis has helped, those who don’t know Dennis, and liars.
- Application administration & Test coordination 76%
- Love for public speaking and being in the spotlight 6%
- Still doing it 97%
Research & Development Revish is our how-to guy with everything. How we should communicate, how we should improve our products, how we should make love to our women, everything. And he backs it up with data.
Experience Need to improve your bedroom skills? Please refer to his article complete with abstract, method, conclusion and discussion.
- Research & Development 60%
- Being charming 88%
- Nudging his colleagues’ chairs 89%
IAM / FIM Consultant “Beware the Fury of a Patient Man” perfectly describes Jacob. Stoic and insightful. Beware his seemingly innocent questions hitting you with an existential crisis like a ton of bricks.
Experience When people meditate they think of Buddha. When Buddha meditates, he thinks of Jacob.
- IAM & FIM realization 87%
- Philosophical aura 58%
- Sweet tooth 81%
Learn from the masters of identity management.
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